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10 Humiliating Reasons People Have Been Arrested

When I was 14-years-old I got arrested for shoplifting condoms.  When I refused to give the drug store “security guard” my home phone number he gave me the ultimatum: “We either call your mom, or call the cops.”  Well, considering the fact that my extremely strict Irish-Catholic mother would explode like a car bomb when she A) Finds out I broke one of those commandment thingys,  and B) was stealing devil latex to engage in activities that would send me straight to fiery bowels of hell, the decision was simple.   “Call the cops.”
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Human Mutations the X-Men Have No Use For

Whenever I see a blind person being led around by a seeing eye dog or someone without legs wheeling themselves around on a skateboard, I feel an overwhelming amount of gratitude towards whatever or whomever the hell created me without any major physical disorder.  Can I still say “disorder?” Politically correct terms are evolving at such a fast pace that I’m probably still using words that became inappropriate back in August.  Anyhow, the point being that I’m grateful.  Well, it would always bother me when I’d be reading X-Men comics and certain mutants would consider their gifts a “curse,” wishing they could have been born normal.  Well the following are some existing human mutations they could have been born with, none of which would have attracted the attention of Professor X.  So if you happen to be a member of the X-Men and you’re reading this, stop your whining and be grateful.

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