Funniest Christmas Album Covers Of All Time
Posted by admin at 10:17 am With only a few days left until Christmas arrives, the jolly little elves at McLOL have been working overtime to bring our readers a special gift for the holidays. Since most of you have been naughtier than nice, there will be no iPads, iPhones, XBOX Kinects or laptop computers stuffed into your Christmas stockings this year. But like that one song says, you better not pout, because we are still in a giving mood. So rather than braving the hectic Christmas shopping crowds and parking lot mayhem for gifts that will be outdated by next year, we have decided to keep it simple and funny with a look back at some of the funniest and weirdest Christmas album covers of all time.
Eilert Pilarm – Eilerts Jul
How could we compile a list of silly Christmas album covers without including Eilert Pilarm – Sweden’s favorite Elvis impersonator who neither looks nor sounds like Elvis? “The King” himself would probably turn in his grave if he were to witness the ruthless butchering of such wonderful Christmas music. Don’t be cruel, Eilert!
Afroman – A Colt 45 Christmas
In 2006, Afroman brought Christmas back to the ‘hood with A Colt 45 Christmas. With festive song titles including “Deck My Balls”, “Let Her Blow” and “O Chronic Tree”, Afroman traded in the customary Christmas tree and eggnog for marijuana trees and 40 ounce bottles of malt liquor. When asked why he decided to take this route in celebrating the holidays, Afroman replied “Because I Got High”. Indeed!
The Border Brass – Tijuana Christmas
Christmas in Tijuana, sounds enticing doesn’t it? Who in their right mind would choose a white Christmas when they could cross over the US border and spend the winter holiday eating tacos, drinking bottles of tequila, listening to mariachi music, exploring drug tunnels and running away from the Tijuana Cartel? If that’s not your idea of a Felis Navidad then I don’t know what is.
Jacob Miller – Natty Christmas
Santa Clause is coming to Jamaica, mon! Late reggae artist Jacob Miller proved that Santa didn’t care if you were natty or nice. Santa climbed down the dutty chimneys in Kingston, leaving gift bags of ganja under every Christmas tree. You better leave a big plate of cookies out for this hungry Santa!
Wham! – Last Christmas
There is something oddly hilarious about “Santa” George Michael standing side by side with band mate, Andrew “The Reindeer” Ridgeley. Let’s just hope that Santa keeps it clean this Christmas and refrains from engaging in lewd acts in public restrooms and cruising in his sleigh for anonymous sex in parks. Wake me up before you ho-ho-ho!
Christmas on Death Row
While the album cover itself is not as comically amusing as some of our other picks, how can you not snicker at the concept of a death row Christmas celebration? I absolutely appreciate the humor in sending your young children to sit on the lap of a death row inmate adorned in Santa Clause attire. As long as his arms and legs are strapped securely to Santa’s electric throne, you should have absolutely nothing to worry about! Right?
AC-DC – Mistress for Christmas
AC/DC and Christmas go together like a violent flame and dry pine branches. Nonetheless, we decided to include their Christmas adultery anthem on our list of the funniest Christmas album covers. Seeing a wide-eyed, grinning Brian Johnson holding an upside down Mrs. Santa by the legs is the Christmas gift that keeps on giving.
Luke – Christmas at Luke’s Sex Shop
If you have been a naughty girl this year, take a seat on Santa Luke’s lap and tell him what you want for Christmas (though the chances are you will get nothing but a nice spanking). Nobody brings out the holiday cheer quite like the former 2 Live Crew front man. Pop in the album and celebrate the happiest (and freakiest) time of the year with such musical gems as “Ho Hoe Hoes”, “Christmas Spliff” and “Christmas Fuckin’ Day”. Just make sure mom, dad and granny are not around to hear it!
Paul Holt – Fifty Grand for Christmas
If you are familiar with who Paul Holt is, you most likely enjoy the train wreck of a television program that is “The X Factor” (a British singing competition a la American Idol). Simon Cowell criticized Holt’s lousy audition and promised him fifty thousand pounds should Holt ever land a number one single in the UK. Needless to say, Holt wrote a Christmas song about the Cowell bet and never came close to hitting the number one spot. On the bright side, we have a bizarre Christmas album cover that will live on for years to come.
Rudy Ray Moore – This Ain’t No White Christmas
The late Rudy Ray Moore – best known for his vulgar comedy routines and for his depiction of our favorite Blaxploitation film character Dolemite the pimp – carried on the Christmas tradition with a holiday-themed comedy effort. If you take one look at the barely clothed ebony beauties decorating his tree (no pun intended), you will realize why This Ain’t No White Christmas.
From all of us at Mclol, Merry Christmas mutha***kas!
