10 Humiliating Reasons People Have Been Arrested
Posted by Jason at 9:25 am When I was 14-years-old I got arrested for shoplifting condoms. When I refused to give the drug store “security guard” my home phone number he gave me the ultimatum: “We either call your mom, or call the cops.” Well, considering the fact that my extremely strict Irish-Catholic mother would explode like a car bomb when she A) Finds out I broke one of those commandment thingys, and B) was stealing devil latex to engage in activities that would send me straight to fiery bowels of hell, the decision was simple. “Call the cops.”
Although I felt safer behind bars, getting arrested for shoplifting condoms was pretty embarrassing. It was a strange combination of responsibility, and a complete lack thereof. But when compared to this next batch of hooligans, I’ve got NOTHING to be ashamed of.
Peeping Tom Gets flushed
It will be the second offense for Portland’s Gary Moody who was caught hiding inside the pit of a campsite latrine, once again. The creature of the black latrine claimed that he was not leering at the backsides of bathroom goers. His excuse was that he dropped his shirt down the hole; the previous time he stressed that he had dropped his diamond rings (which was never found). Moody entered a plea of no contest to trespassing for which he will serve two years of probation. He is also required to pay a fine of $1,000 and $700 to the Forest Service for the cost of pumping out the toilet tank and screening the contents. What happened to the peeping Tom style made famous in Porky’s?
Prison Preferred Over Marital Vows
Lancaster native, Anthony Miller, held up an Ephrata Bank with a BB gun in order to break away from his significant other. Miller informed the judge that his wife was a terror; he claimed that she abused him and told him that she would commit suicide if he broke off the marriage. Miller remained at the scene of the crime for an extra four minutes after forcing the teller to hand over the loot just to ensure that he would be captured by the authorities. It appears that Miller is not a violent man since he made no threats during the robbery and his BB gun was not loaded. Despite his non-violent nature, Miller faces a three to six year prison sentence for the crime. At least he was able to obtain a divorce.
Senior Citizen Arrested For Being A Grouch
An eighty-nine year old woman was arrested for petty theft after refusing to return the local kids’ football. Edna Jester decided that enough was enough after their toys repeatedly landed in her yard; her plan was to keep the football for a while in order to teach the ‘youngings’ a lesson. The parents of one of the children involved did not agree with her grumpy tactics and phoned the police. Once the police arrived at Mrs. Jester’s residence they encountered a tough-as-nails elderly lady who refused to cooperate. It appears that she had made up her mind on the subject and refused to hand over the football or sign a citation. This left the cops with no other option than to arrest her and bring her down to the station. Edna faces a maximum penalty of 6 months in jail and a fine of up to $1,000. The parents who had alerted the police did not expect it to go this far; they claimed to just want the football returned to the children since they had lost previous toys to Edna.
Boy Gets More Than His Name On Santa’s Naughty List
There is not a kid in the world who does not get excited about presents; and there have been many instances where this excitement led to covert missions in order to locate your Christmas gifts before the big day. A twelve-year-old boy residing in South Carolina ended up wearing handcuffs and being taken down to the local police station for his lack of ‘Christmas patience’. It turns out that the boy had crept into his great-grandmother’s house, located the hiding place for the gifts and taken the presents. Brandi Ervin, the boy’s mother, decided to call the police in the hopes of teaching her son a lesson. Petty larceny charges seem like a harsh way to discipline a child; it makes the wooden spoon look more lenient than previously believed.
Traffic Violations Of An Obscene Manner
The Sioux Falls police arrested a sixty-year-old man, Peter Dills, for unlawful occupancy, burglary, indecent exposure (seems normal so far) and wait…committing sex acts with traffic signs. Apparently the local residents knew that something odd was going on in their midst. One of them took note of Mr. Dills loitering around a traffic sign with a camera and tripod setup. This discovery led to a confrontation where a chase broke out and resulted in Mr. Dills’ arrest. Police searched the suspect’s house and uncovered two years worth of VHS tapes and 8mm film with footage of the ‘signophile’ actively molesting various traffic signs. Some people just do not understand that STOP means no!
Five Year Old Girl Becomes Repeat Offender
Here is an example of an authority figure abusing the power that society bestows on them. In Germany, a police chief made use of his power of arrest by apprehending his son’s playmate after a dispute took place between the two toddlers in the local sandbox. The five-year-old girl apparently broke the law when she became too aggressive with the officer’s son during the disagreement. The tike was placed under arrest and driven home by the police chief. Soon after this showdown took place the menacing minor encountered her arresting officer while he was on duty and allegedly gave him the finger. The streets were cleaned up once again after the five-year-old was placed under arrest for a second time. After this second offense a team of police officers were dispatched to the girl’s house with the purpose of informing her parents that a continuation of these actions could lead to a charge of anti-social behaviour.
Man Bombards Beach-Goers With Sea Creatures
Florida, a common vacation spot for families with child-friendly destinations like Disney World and the sandy beaches. However, there was an incident on a Florida beach which made the spot appear both bizarre and somewhat dangerous. A 41 year old man was arrested for disorderly intoxication and carrying a concealed weapon. According to witnesses the man acted as though he was drowning and then began to launch jellyfish at teenagers crowded nearby. Police arrived on scene and arrested the jellyfish-chucker who was also carrying a pocketknife in his shorts.
Firefighter Placed Under Arrest For Attempting To Save Lives
A Hazelwood police officer, Todd Greeves, did his part in keeping the streets clean by taking down a fire captain who was attempting to move an injured driver. The dispute between the two men erupted over the location of where the fire truck was parked. Officer Greeves wanted the truck moved in order to free up another lane of traffic, while the Fire Protection District Captain was more concerned about having the truck there to protect the emergency workers who were attempting to aid the injured driver. Luckily for the public, the police dash cam video caught the incident on tape where the fire captain was placed under arrest. Officer Greeves was ordered to pay $18,000 for this ridiculous judgment call.
DUI Without Even Getting Up From The Bar Stool
Ohio police received a seemingly normal report about an accident in a nearby area. Upon arriving on the scene the officers discovered that an intoxicated man had crashed his motorized bar stool. After getting over the initial shock that someone actually conceived this contraption, the police determined that the stool’s operator was intoxicated. Kile Wygle downed fifteen brews before hopping on to his lawnmower-powered bar stool, which he claimed could reach speeds of up to 38 mph. Wygle has entered a plea of not guilty and has requested a jury trial; perhaps he believes that he can argue he was not driving a vehicle in the first place.
Over-sized Female Mouse Groped At Disney World
John William Moyer, a seemingly harmless man who has never so much as received a speeding ticket, has been convicted for misdemeanor battery after groping Minne Mouse’s breasts. The victim was Brittney Duncan McGoldrick who had been working in Disney World as the Minnie Mouse character. Moyer maintains that he is innocent of this crime against the lovable cartoon character and sweetheart to Mickey, but Mrs. McGoldrick claims she was forced to push Moyer repeatedly in an attempt to get him off of her breasts. The court sided with Minnie on this one and ordered Moyer to write a letter of apology, complete 50 hours of community service, pay court fees totaling $1,000, serve 180 days of probation and to undergo a mental evaluation with treatment, if needed.
If you think weird people end up behind bars for weird reasons, stay tuned for our post on “10 Humiliating Reasons People Have Ended Up in Emergency Rooms.”
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“It appears that Miller is not a violent man since he made no threats during the robbery and his BB gun was not loaded. Despite his non-violent nature, Miller faces a three to six year prison sentence for the crime.”
Re: The quoted part above.
In almost every state, that would constitute armed robbery. That it was a BB gun or unloaded wouldn’t matter one bit, the intention was that everyone believed he had a deadly weapon. In some states, a 6 year sentence for that crime would be a light one. In many states, it would be 100% legal for the victim of such a crime to use deadly force to stop the robbery. Sorry but using a weapon (even if it is not likely to be a lethal one) is a violent crime.
Yup – same in the UK and, IIRC, many other countries. If you make people believe you have a weapon, then you’re deemed to have had a weapon. Quite rightly, too.
Wowser!
A motorized Bar stool! 38 mph? Could be a new event at Nascar!
Re: Re: The quoted part above.
Hey, God here. I know I haven’t spoken with humanity for many years, but I felt this message was urgent enough to deliver personally. Chris stop being a fag.
God, you are awesome.
i wasnt arrested, the guy made me pay for them and said if i go in there again he would call the cops, and charge me for criminal trespassing,
hey fake god, eat my God cock.
testicles. that is all.
why are people taking this seriously?? its supposed to be funny!
P.S. Nascar sucks!! Id rather watch “signophile”
peace out