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5 People Who Got Away With Jokes About the Special Olympics

Special Olympics.  Never in history have two words been more effective at dividing the people.

On the one hand, you have those whose hearts are filled to the brim with hope and love, whose eyes glaze over with tears of pride and compassion whenever a Special Olympic athlete crosses the finish line, even if the aforementioned athlete wasn’t competing in a race of any kind.  To these people the human spirit is something to be cherished, and they would (if they could), personally escort anyone making fun of the Special Olympics into the deepest bowels of hell.

And then pee on them.

On the other, you have those who shed a very different kind of tear.  Simply hearing the words will cause them to react like the child who’s being sat on by his older brother, while his sister tickles the naked bottoms of his feet with an ever so delicate feather.  The laughter is instant, uncontrollable, and guaranteed to cause abdominal tearing unless the feather is removed by changing topics.  The hilarity produced during these games has the elemental force of an erupting volcano, and any attempts to cap the subsequent laughter would cause severe internal damage, potentially pushing organs and liquids out  the other end.  To these people, NOT laughing at the Special Olympics would be, unnatural.

When President Barack Obama mentioned that his bowling skills were of Special Olympic caliber on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno, the White House issued a statement of apology before the show even hit the air, and the President himself called the Special Olympics chairman to apologize, where he invited Special Olympic athletes to bowl or play basketball in the White House.  The following is a list of people who’ve been able to joke about the Special Olympics without being forced to apologize publicly, or to fill their homes with handicapable athletes.

South Park

Yes we know that South Park is not technically a “people,” but for the sake of a nice listy-sounding title, we are including television shows and movies in the people category.

So back up off us son!

Written by Trey “I don’t give a **** what people think” Parker, Up the Down Steroid made its appearance during South Park’s 8th season.  It features Jimmy getting hooked on steroids, an emotionally distressed Timmy, and of course Eric Cartman, the little boy who sold his soul for a helmet and a shot at the Special Olympics championship.

Family Guy

Ready, Willing and Disabled made its wheelchair-wheeling appearance during Family Guy’s 3rd season, and it also involves the use steroids to gain that necessary competitive edge during the “Special People’s Games.”  The writers over at Family Guy are clearly not subscribers to “Political Correctness Weekly,” otherwise they would have known that it should be called the “People Who Are Special Games.”  They are people first, special second.

Stephen Lynch

Here we have the first actual “person” on the list.  Stephen Lynch displayed an early interest in special people when he wrote the song “Special,” featured on the album titled “A Little Bit Special.”  It’s the story of a boy who after being dropped on his head, went around thinking he was a piece of bread.  His love for the special continued, making this video the first thing to pop up when you type “Special Olympics” into YouTube, beating out the actual Special Olympics.

David Crowe

Remember the two types of people discussed earlier?  Well, after watching this clip I laughed out loud, at which point the girl sitting next to me in the coffee shop asked “What’s so funny?”  After I told her she shook her head and called me an ***hole.

The Ringer

According to producers of the Farrelly brother variety, one of the reasons this film was given the green light by the Special Olympics committee was that “You’re not laughing at them. You’re really laughing with them. There are a lot of jokes in this movie, and they’re in on them all.”  And therein lies the secret.  The only way to bridge the gap between the people with sympathy and compassion, and the apathetic pointers-and-laughers, is to build that bridge out of special people, and to make damn sure that they are laughing at the same time as you.

If anyone needs a lift, I’m on my way to hell right now, and there’s plenty of room in this handbasket.

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