mcLOL.com

How To Have The Most Balanced Diet Using Only Microwavable Food

The microwave is one of the most important inventions of the 20th century.  Zapping away hours of time spent either famished or slaving away cooking, this radiation-emitting ‘wonder’ is the fast and easy answer to all your hunger needs.

But microwavable food isn’t just about convenience; it’s a way of life. You can get all your essential nutrients in just one sitting, it gives you more time to spend doing the things you love [like drunk dialing and Mario Kart], and the greatest part about it, it tastes so much better than the foods “health experts” call “nutritious”.

Behold the microwave food pyramid, created by me and a team of experts (i.e. Steve from accounting). The key to a healthy microwavable food diet is to be diverse. Make sure to consume as much from all these categories on a daily basis. If you have a date, impress her with a heated Michelina dinner and a bouquet of half-priced flowers from the florist Toronto section of your phone directory.

Noodles

Noodles are an essential part of a microwavable food diet. They are high in both carbohydrates and in starch. Carbohydrates are an excellent source of energy and play a vital role in a healthy immune system. Starch is also the most valuable polysaccharide [Which is vital for the production of amazingness]. A recommended microwavable noodle choice is Kraft Easy Mac. Not only supplying high concentrations of carbs and starches, it also contains 700 mg of sodium, which is a nice boost from its traditional packet-based version that only has 550 mg.  The pantry in my apartment is so completely stocked with microwavable noodle-based foods that I’ve installed inventory management software onto my computer to keep track of it all.

Pocket Foods

Superior quality pocket foods contain high amounts of filling, held together by a doughy, thick crust that doesn’t get soggy. Try to avoid fillings with vegetables inside; they only take up space that other meats and cheese would otherwise be occupying. Instead, opt for meat-stuffed pocket foods such as “Pepperoni”, “Pepperoni Bacon”, “Deli Lovers” and “3X Pepperoni”. Meat is a source of high quality proteins and contains high quantities of iron [think swords].

Pizzas

Pizza, as you may already know contains high amounts of Vitamin-A (i.e. Vitamin Awesomeness).The microwavable pizza has undergone one of the most significant advancements in the history of microwavable food. With the advent of the crisping tray, you never again have to worry about wet, soggy crust. Your Bagel Bites and mini microwavable pizzas are guaranteed to brown and crisp to perfection, every time.

Burritos

Burritos can be enjoyed in their many wonderful varieties. You can get all your daily fiber and calcium from one “Bean and Cheese” burrito. “Ground Beef” and “Shredded Steak” are other excellent choices, and again a great source of iron, [think Ironman].

So the next time you walk into a grocery store, skip the fresh fruits and vegetables and make a bee-line for the frozen-food section. You’ll see the amazing difference in how you feel after even 2 days of your new microwavable food diet. If not, then you’re probably doing it wrong. Welcome aboard and happy eating!

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.