Most Ridiculous Taser Headlines
Posted by Tom at 12:16 pm Seems like you can’t watch the news anymore without hearing about a police brutality story. Everyone wants to hear about the latest oppressive flying elbows delivered by the law to the skulls of the innocent. In that spirit I’ve compiled a list of the most hilarious and incredible Taser headlines I could find.
These are real headlines from local and national news agencies from across the western world. Enjoy.
Man bursts into flames after Taser shock
Police officers try to stop a man from setting himself on fire by setting him of fire themselves.
Police Sodomize Man with Taser
I ain’t no police scientist but I’m pretty sure anal electro-shock hasn’t found it’s way into the police handbook.
Sixth Grader Tasered At Middle School
An argument escalated between two 11-year old boys at a middle school so an in-school officer, apparently unable to contain one of the 11-year old boys (wtf?), delivered some Taser justice to his pre-pubescent ass.
Family Outraged After Officer Tasers then Shoots Their Puppy
Omitted from the story is the drop kick one officer landed from the roof of the family’s home followed by several hits from a folding chair left under the family’s sundeck. The officer was treated for injuries incurred during an overly-elaborate celebratory dance.
Police Taser Great-Grandmother During Traffic Stop
She was resisting arrest and even at 72, I guess the officer had no other recourse. I just like the part when he yells “Get on the ground!” followed up by “You’re on the ground!” He’s clearly missed his true calling as an announcer.
Police zap 89-year old pensioner with taser gun
Police have found a new use for Tasers: Thwarting suicide attempts among the elderly.
Hawthorne police review use of Taser on middle school student
Police subdue a violent 12-year old autistic boy with a 50,000 volt shock to the system.
Police use Taser on fake cougar
Police responded to a report that a cougar was running amok in a Michigan neighborhood. Police found the cougar and promptly Tasered it into submission. After a riotous celebration and multiple high-fives an officer realized the cougar was in fact stuffed and remained completely motionless throughout the entire affair.
Police Taser Pastor in Church Parking Lot and pepper-spray congregation
Everyone knows that just because you’re god-fearing doesn’t mean you’re above reproach, but this still makes for a chuckle-worthy headline.
Pregnant mother tasered at baptism party
I can’t think of a better way to get people at a one of those crazy baptism parties to “keep it down.”
High school student who wouldn’t stop using cell phone Tasered
I sometimes wonder how police used to get children off cell phones before the invention of Tasers. In fact, how’d they get anyone to do anything before tasers?!
Cops taser pallbearer carrying dad’s casket
Police became understandably impatient when a pallbearer wanted by police wasn’t carrying his dead father’s casket quickly enough.
Policeman hits Epileptic New Mexican girl in head with Taser
In an apparent attempt to avoid a pursuit this police officer decided to Taser an escaping 14 year old girl in the head. Unfortunately the Taser dart pierced her skull and she needed brain surgery.
56-Year Old Wheelchair-Bound Woman Dies After Being Shocked With Taser 10 Times
A knife-wielding, wheelchair bound paraplegic/schizophrenic gets Tased 10 times in a period of 2 minutes then surprise surprise, dies. Simply too ridiculous to comment on.
Deputies use Taser to subdue autistic boy who was running in traffic
Apparently Tasers are the lassos of the 21st century.
Man Arrested and Tasered While Having Epileptic Seizure
Officers came to the aid of a Michigan man having an epileptic seizure by merely following police procedure: Tasing, clubbing and arresting.
Florida policewoman Tasers female shopper for yelling at her
A woman left Best Buy too quickly for their liking so police were sent over to Taser the non-violent woman after she was wrongfully accused of trying to escape in her used car using a stolen credit card. So I guess that adds injury to insult?
Cops Taser an Unarmed and Scared Mentally Handicap Woman into Submission
Why couldn’t they have Tased this mentally handicapped woman?
Cop Accidentally Tasers Himself While Arresting Suspect
Out of habit, his fellow officers planted 4 ounces of crack on their convulsing comrade.
Michigan police taser newlyweds during wedding reception
I’m told this is how all Michigan weddings go down.
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Now I know how the cows must have felt during the “Great cattle prodding of ‘97″
I know that taser are a means of non-lethal control but how about some cops who are in shape and can handle children and the elderly without the use of tasers. Non-lethal just means it doesn’t ordinarily kill, not that there aren’t very negative side effects. The use of these weapons by many in law enforcement is out of control.
Only the last one could be described as hilarious. The rest aren’t really a laughing matter.
what can I do to help? cops are getting way out of control. we have to do something.
I’m not in favour of tazers, and think that they should only be used as a last resort, but some of these headlines are deceptive.
Read some of the sources – the ‘Puppy’ incident was an adult dog that was running loose, and had just bitten a police officer 26 times while he attempted to restrain it. The other officer couldn’t make it let go of him, so tazered it, and when that didn’t work, shot it. The bites were apparently so severe that the dog left one of it’s teeth embeded in the wounds.
Execute the filthy fucking pigs. Legal or not. Kill them worthless sons of bitches.
Give an idiot a uniform and this is what you get. Its well known that those who put on uniforms of any sort suffer from delusions of grandeur, megalomania,inferiority complex and narcissism
Southern states politicians are no better either. Quoting the Bible and its ten commandments.
To Erra, the dog you speak of was only 5 pounds… It was a chihuahua breed, if you read. Add to that the fact that police are supposed to call Animal Control (which they did after they killed it), and you have a situation that they should have and could have been easily avoided. The police are here to protect us, supposedly, and from what I’m reading in these articles, its a sad, sad world. And idiots like you defend these actions… sheesh
The US is a police state. Cops are free to do what they want.\
One day soon we will have to fight against our own government
until then keep up the great job on the site awesome
Tazers are not intended for cattle prods, to force compliance by questioning citizens. Unless we are comfortable living in a totalitarian police state, where human life and liberty has no value, and the will of the state is supreme over all, I suggest we demand that the use of these things be curtailed to only as a last resort, not to force the will of the state, or the personal discretion of individual officers, upon individual citizens. According to Amnesty International, as of March 24th 2009, 351 deaths can be attributed to the application of a Tazer to the victim. In all but 1 or 2 cases, the victim was either guilty of some minor offense, nothing but failing to comply with an order, questioning their charges, and orders, or being ill or otherwise unable to comply.
America Wake UP! If we don’t do something now, it will be too late. when it is your neighbor, sister, brother mother or child, or maybe even you, you will regret your lack of action. Write your senators and congressmen, both state and federal, write your local papers, speak out for freedom and the liberty that once was America the Great!
I say that any officer who uses his gun or tazer without a legitimate and understandable reason should be fired, simple as that. Tazer an obstinate old lady, your fired! tazer someone whos surrendering, you’re fired!
Is this supposed to be funny? These are serious examples of police abusing their power. What is funny about police officers tasering then killing a five year old’s puppy? Or the epileptic girl who could’ve gone into a seizure, not to mention the scar pictured? Does any of this qualify as humor? Seriously?
Cops that abuse the tazer should be tazed at random for the rest of their lives. They won’t ever know the time or place, just totally random. On the toilet, at a red light, mowing the lawn, at a parent teacher conference, grocery shopping, beating their kids, at their coke dealers house, in church, at the inlaws’ house… you get the idea.
Outrageous! Right on Ravious, terminate the filthy pigs! I love when cops are shot. See my site for photos of me celebrating at a dead pig’s funeral procession where they stopped traffic to have hundreds of pigs parade through the streets. Hearing about a cop shot really makes my day.
If you can’t pop a cop, at least do SOMETHING. Fight them any way you can — politically, economically, physically, intellectually!
Regarding the taser devices, you just need armor — or an equivalent. See http://tacspec.com/personal/armor/ for ideas.
What do you expect from pigs?
In the words of my hero Clint Eastwood “Hang em’ high!”
oink oink
i like all of the cops. for helping/and saving people.
good job cops. your the best. everybody will be thanking you when they see you and they get older.
to dirty does,
I called animal control once and they said that I had to have the animal in a container before they would pick it up
I was soooooo pissed
Thank you cops! can you please go kill other puppy?
a policeman once had to Taser a dog several times so how could it possibly set a man on fire!
* and that didnt seem to make any difference